Archives
The backstreets of our hearts, the bedrock of our identity
On fame ... and the unbearable naffness of the Olympics
Feels like the real world, feels like our world
Daleks in lust / Liverpool needs a new icon
Flames may splutter but love burns bright
Pubs and the baleful glare of 'welcome'
Tender-hearted maids and Doctor Who
A strangely important dream
It really is time to cry FREEDOM!
Good times and sad phrases
Reasons NOT to be cheerful
Funny thing about comedy … and ice-cream
Come out of your attic, join us passionate poets!
Never lose … that lovin’ feelin’
When I lived among the poor of Hull
Good instincts ... for terrible times
To love a place is to accept its shortcomings
Calm down, pubbers! / My 'Thoughts' on radio
Between the purity of the angels and the savagery of beasts … is politics
My philosophical solution to our rotten state schools and rubbish teachers
The radiant finger of identity
Sudden shafts of love for humanity
Suffer the little children (up to a point...)
The disgusting emergence of 'Fascism Lite'
Hunger, Moist Eyes, Aliens and Bawdiness
‘Normal’ service is resumed
Our ‘Carry on Slapping’ nation
Why I wanna be … your Beloved Leader
I like to see the best in people, BUT …
Help! The Wearons have landed!
Intimations of mortality
And so she squealed with delight ...
Placing my faith in the brilliance of the bright stars and YOU!
Deep in the heart of a vagabond
Titter ye not at the Queen
Who can imagine songs worse than John Lennon's?
Death by supernova for moronic British TV
Here be monsters
These nights of Magic Realism
Grace-filled beauty of a New Brighton morning
Phoney art and why John Lennon was WRONG
Go-go bars and showbiz stars
Stuff your interactive nonsense. I just don't want to play
What Paul McCartney can learn from my youthful good looks
Posh and Specs go large across the Wirral
Not much of a compliment
Fun in the sun - for once!
Happiness, 'Posh Boots' and woes to come
When tragedy comes, politicians should SHUT UP
What the Culture Bunglers of Liverpool need to do now
Goodison Park, REAL Culture, subsidised Fat Cats
Condoleezza Rice and the Mathew Street Festival
Yes, I am SAM BRADY of the Oracle
Sod-cutting, Wirral's 'Death Star', and a most important battle
The trouble with the NHS
The Protestant pipes playing in my Catholic ears
THEIR truth is out there
Don't try to make Liverpool look like everywhere else
Cruel consequences of the new state fascism for working class Scousers
Smoke Ban's plastic police – meet your spiritual leader!
Two fingers to the smoking ban Nazis!
Our Kingdom of Rains ... and why it’s p*ssing down in my heart
Caning it in Krakow / Art Wars in New Brighton
George Michael: Freedom’s bleats have got no rhythm
'Imagine' this … Mr ‘Sarky Gob’ John Lennon
The night SATAN went mad in Hell's Waiting Room
Let the good times begin … in Tallulah’s bar
Gerrard, Rooney & Colleen: money, money MONEY!
Liverpool: European Capital of BEGGING 2008 / 'Goodbye Robbie Fowler' sighs Graeme Le Saux
Marion Thompson IS 'Tallulah Swells' ... of Tallulah's bar!
Hell’s Waiting Room / a sinful act by top Catholics
Dr Gyggle and those arse-pinching Scouse birds
The morons who have ruined British telly
Happy days, poetry, Donna Lad, Tallulah’s bar
The yellow brick road to DISCIPLINE!
Culture desert / dumb Britain / meaning of 'freedom'
The roads, ferries, buses and trains from HELL!
The shaming of Britain - and a personal milestone
Poetic destiny / Tranmere Rovers / Catholic Wallasey
Chips with everything at a most working class venue
Male broodiness - that's life, daddy-o!
Bring back the en-suite vomitarium
Remember this - Liverpool is a Lancashire city
Brave Little Poets and the Overhead Railway
Dark side of Liverpool culture
Of men, women and "tart's knickers" curtains
The Militant era – mad, bad and NEVER coming back
I'm from planet Zog, so I have special insight ...
Liverpool's 'front-line' services - my a***!
A poetic tribute to a beautiful but neglected place ...
Let's hear it for the New Brighton MASSIVE!
Every day: make something beautiful, break the rules, try to win
Danielle, race slurs and nasty liberals
‘Cattiness’ in women
Suddenly, poetry is news ...
RESPECT! Silly council projects that won’t earn any
A girlie lunch ... and a bruising 2am encounter
Political pygmies of the Wirral 'Death Star'
Beware the sinister liberal-fascists
'Tell us, Lord of History' - a poem for our troubled times
Nausia, dress confusion and the health Nazis
A most cheese-tastic event
So My Darlings … it’s 2007
2006: glad it’s all over
Happy broken Christmas
A fresh start for this big fat loser?
Me and the lemon-sucking charity shop monster
Reasons to be cheerful – and yet so very sad
David Beckham: sending us all to sleep...
On these New Brighton nights …
Perch Rock Pub – The First Time. A POEM.
Racial justice ... and tough love
Fear, worry and people with strawberries up their bums
Only one thing lifts MY spirits.....
How NOT to make a stylish entrance …
Working class life in ‘North Baghdad’ (er, Birkenhead, that is)
Why bugs on I'm A Celeb have more dignity than the media whores
How the '08 culture clique is getting it wrong
This urban ragamuffin cheers up
For the love of humanity…
Strife on the streets and poetry in Liverpool
Lazy, dirty dog owners and hermaphrodites in anoraks
The trouble with pretending that God is dead
Nasty health nazis and the bifter ban
Rivulets of spite … and love
The soundtrack of a bitter and twisted man
Modern life is tough – so laugh but don’t sneer
Piercing a baby's ear - the link with parental stupidity
Why women should not dress like sex industry workers
The RIGHT way to respect the dead (cops, please note)
Discord and sneers ... welcome to the pub singalong
'Pour Misty For Me'
Big Gob addresses the big issues
Abortion alert: it’s the drink talking (in vino veritas)
Whistle while you work (I don’t think so…)
THE BEATLES… yeah, yeah, yeah...
The day my bird ‘Treacle’ Tartt went too far
The unbearable tightness of being (part one)
Pansy Potter wants to talk ...
Terror - & How To Solve A Problem Like Graham Norton
Cruel times in a beautiful country
Trouble at the bar, fat kids and depressed camels
A brilliant night ... and Wirral Council's Big Fat Failure
Lairy lesbians of Hell’s Waiting Room
Independence for Wallasey!
Drinking from the reservoir of bad tempered b******s
Nobby No-Mates, meetings, and a pub called Malice
How UK telly has destroyed itself
Is New Brighton CURSED?
Real culture - and the Liverpool 08 shambles
Posh people don't wanna have fun
Quality writers V musical morons and telly trollops
Coarse women, sacking off Liverpool, and a BSc in sarcasm
My sweet, sour, flaky night in Madford-on-Sea
Come ON England - in every sense
My poem for New Brighton
A swell evening, Tallulah ...
Why we should all respect the British Army
Being shabby on the telly ... and in Hoylake
Where it's illegal to be middle class ...
Liverpool’s swank palaces versus Birkenhead Market
Big Brother's shame, Madonna and earthworms
A most important rule for life
So evil, so good
Hope in the stars for this working class hero
Of radio talk, rock lads and mop buckets
The riddle of my big Hate List
The day I felt the fury of John Prescott
A night of Magic Realism in New Brighton
How I penetrated a posh clique in New Brighton
Why is nearly everyone trying to be American?
Happy Easter from Constantine, me and Condoleezza
Of good old pals and surprisingly popular rats ...
Snelly, The Jam, and my sweaty clubland encounter
Nasty experiences for Condoleezza ... and for me!
Last train to the European Capital of Binge-Drinking
Self-pitying political pygmies who shame Liverpool
Far, far away from Wallasey
Cry George and Condoleezza for FREEDOM!
The power of filthy looks
How I'd sort out 'skools' and scallies
Beware the beige cardigan-wearing wreckers
Bitterness and pie wars in New Brighton
Those miserable, anti-smoking health fascists
The Oscars and Hollywood – so moronic, darlings!
What a dog! My messy relationship problem ...
Big ambitions, small town politics - that's Liverpool
Why we always learn more from losing than winning
Chester, now there's posh
Music, moods and John Lennon's worst song
When geezer-birds kick off ...
Love, gussets and the Emperor Tiberius