Last train to the European Capital of Binge-Drinking

March 29, 2006 2:05 PM

I HAD a top time visiting my chums in Scotland … a pleasant house party last Friday night marred only by the spectacular projectile vomiting of a young female guest (she was unused to wine, or maybe just had a bad pie).
Apparently, in ancient Roman society, every banqueting hall had a nicely tiled en-suite vomitorium.
Not a bad idea when you’ve had to scrub sick out the shag pile for the umpteenth time.

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Self-pitying political pygmies who shame Liverpool

March 27, 2006 5:06 PM

THERE has long been an infantile character to left wing politics in Liverpool.
It is one of the things that continues to damage the city’s image.
We can all remember Derek Hatton’s face twisted with venom and hatred, addressing the rabble from the balcony of the Town Hall.
That set the tone for an attitude which prevails today. Whenever I see people demonstrating in Liverpool I sense they are trying to behave like rebellious teenagers, sticking two fingers up to the rest of Britain and the world.

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Far, far away from Wallasey

March 24, 2006 4:44 PM

SO nearly two weeks have passed since the bitter battles over bingo caused such a stink in Hell's Waiting Room.
I haven't been in there much recently because I've been poorly. Nothing serious, don't worry. Just a profound corrosion of the soul of the sort which afflicts all intelligent people from time to time.

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Cry George and Condoleezza for FREEDOM!

March 20, 2006 6:31 PM

I DOUBT that the splendid Condoleezza Rice will lose much sleep over the ticking off that tinpot local politician Warren Bradley plans to give her.
Cllr Bradley plans to unleash his criticism of the US role in Iraq when the Secretary of State visits Liverpool later this month.
He should save his breath…

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The power of filthy looks

March 17, 2006 1:32 PM

ANOTHER winter’s night in New Brighton, and there is always someone around who’ll give you a sly, shark-eyed glance or a dirty look. More of that later …
The evening started well. I called in first to the local chippy, the Twisted Halibut, and got a cod without batter and a few chips on the side.

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How I'd sort out 'skools' and scallies

March 15, 2006 5:13 PM

THE latest round of huffing and puffing by politicians about so-called schools reform fails to impress me.
While Labour and the Tories are playing politics with education, children are emerging from Merseyside’s under-achieving and failing schools thicker and more yobbish with every year that passes.

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Beware the beige cardigan-wearing wreckers

March 13, 2006 4:12 PM

IF any place in the world deserves a chance of genuine redevelopment, it must be New Brighton.
I’ve examined in detail the £75 million plans by Liverpool-based developers Neptune for the seafront of this ultimate faded resort, and I am, frankly, impressed to the point of excitement.
If translated into reality, New Brighton (once the leading resort of Northern England, with a taller tower than Blackpool’s) could get back a good slice of its former glory.

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Bitterness and pie wars in New Brighton

March 10, 2006 1:54 PM

THERE must be more eccentrics per head of population in New Brighton than in any urban settlement in Britain.
Mostly these marginalised waterside dwellers are charming and humorous, but they do sometimes squabble bitterly among themselves.
And just the other night in my local, Hell’s Waiting Room, there was a huge incident in which passions were roused to fever pitch …

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Those miserable, anti-smoking health fascists

March 8, 2006 2:54 PM

TODAY I treated myself to 40 Silk Cut and a pack of big, juicy King Edward’s Invincible cigars. Marvellous.
For the past six years or so I have deliberately smoked extra-heavily on National No Smoking Day (that’s today, March 8, if by some miracle you failed to notice all the propaganda about it, financed by your taxes and mine).

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The Oscars and Hollywood – so moronic, darlings!

March 6, 2006 4:43 PM

DOES anybody – apart from a few fluff-headed showbiz presenters on GMTV – care a flying fig for the Oscars?
I certainly find this annual gong-fest intensely boring, and so do most TV viewers, since the ratings have been falling year on year.
In fact, I find the whole of the modern Hollywood film industry and its, ahem, “stars” fantastically dull.

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What a dog! My messy relationship problem ...

March 2, 2006 1:09 PM

I HAVE a longing – honestly, a real longing – to own a dog.

How this has come about, I really don’t understand because I didn’t grow up in a dog-loving family and I haven’t kept any sort of pets so far in my life.

Well, perhaps it is because I am still single at the age of, ahem!, 45, despite my devastating good looks, that I have started to crave the company other species altogether.

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