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Steve Regan is a writer who lives in New Brighton. He’s a performance poet and a rebel. He drinks in a pub he calls Hell’s Waiting Room and a late bar known as The Lost Weekend. Steve has an unusual take on modern life – as you’ll discover …

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January 2007 Archives

‘Cattiness’ in women

January 30, 2007 10:19 AM

I OFTEN wonder why we use the words ‘catty’ and ‘cattiness’ to describe certain kinds of women and their distinctive behaviour.
After all, it is not as if cats are creatures that lurk around making quietly poisonous remarks about others, or waste hours every day gossiping, or make tart remarks, or give people snooty, condescending looks… all those things that ‘catty’ women do.
I have noticed that ‘catty’ behaviour is actually rather depressingly dominant in middle aged, middle class women.

Suddenly, poetry is news ...

January 26, 2007 12:17 PM

THIS was the day (Jan 26) that BBC Radio Merseyside broadcast my review of the week's news in the form of a rhyming poem.
People seemed to like the poem - published below - and so I'm pleased to say that next Friday (2 Feb) and each Friday after that I'll again be versifying on the Breakfast programme, hosted by Simon O'Brien and Lucinda Moore.
These news-packed poems of mine will be broadcast quite early, mind, at about 6.45 on Friday mornings so you will have to be quite dedicated to get up so early to listen.

RESPECT! Silly council projects that won’t earn any

January 25, 2007 6:22 PM

EVERYONE with any intelligence must realise that the Government’s ‘Respect’ agenda is a total load of public relations bull**** with bells on.
I struggled to stop giggling with subversive glee when I saw pictures of “plastic policemen” (community support officers) going walkabout with clipboard-wielding council wallies through the mean streets of Birkenhead.
What is going on here is not a serious attempt to halt our urban neighbourhoods’ slide into degeneracy, stupidity and petty criminality.
Rather it is the Government’s attempt to create yet more non-jobs in the public sector, and thereby a giant “votes bank” for Labour in areas where real (i.e. private sector) employment has virtually collapsed – namely Liverpool, Wirral and Knowsley.

A girlie lunch ... and a bruising 2am encounter

January 23, 2007 10:58 AM

USUALLY, I’m happy enough hanging with the lads, but last Saturday I decided to go on a girls’ lunch outing to Liverpool.
I suggested it, in fact, and the birds were all in agreement that I should join them.
As a poet of sorts, I’m considered sensitive, you see, so I count as an honorary girlie.

Political pygmies of the Wirral 'Death Star'

January 21, 2007 7:35 PM

AT Wallasey Town Hall (the HQ of Wirral Council, hereafter referred to as the 'Death Star'), there is always much talk of regeneration.
But that's all it is... talk.
The Death Star itself stands defiant amid scenes of business failure and social deprivation on a massive scale ... all along Brighton Street and King Street.
(No wonder Wirral borough never managed to twin with anywhere... even Bagdhad and Stoke-on-Trent turned them down on quality grounds.)

Beware the sinister liberal-fascists

January 17, 2007 5:05 PM

THE cruel irony about modern liberalism is that it is turning itself into a kind of fascism.
Liberal values – once grounded in freedom and liberty – are now mainly concerned with politically correct thought control and in denying our people their historic freedoms of speech and expression.
Recent days have shown the modern liberal state in Britain and in Europe at its worst. Our political elite forms a shrill, proscriptive force, always wanting to bludgeon an unwilling population into behaving exactly the way they feel they ought to.
We don’t have the jackboots and the violence yet, but we do have the rest of the nasty stuff that comes with fascism, including an emerging Europe-wide superstate with totalitarian tendencies (the EU).

'Tell us, Lord of History' - a poem for our troubled times

January 17, 2007 1:52 AM

Tell us, Lord of History, in the this moment that stands still,
All the truth there is to know, the very bitterest pill.
And don’t hold back or modify your ancient, cosmic plan;
Tell everyone, each holy strand, the destiny of man.

Tell us, Lord of History, was the pain we went through real
As we built and fought and talked to reach each fragile deal?
Are we near the end now, one man, one vote, one story?
Or is there more to come, my Lord; bricks and guns and glory?


Nausia, dress confusion and the health Nazis

January 11, 2007 2:06 PM

ONCE again I am dictating this column from my sickbed. It's being inputted by a kind neighbour who has called to see how I am.
I am propped up with huge fluffy pillows and croaking out the words to her.
Imagine me as the late Dame Barbara Cartland, incoherent with gin, on a chaise longe, dicating one of her trashy romantic novels to a baffled and irritated secretary, and you'll get the right mental picture.
Except I am not wearing a fluffy pink gown, nor even what Kenn Dodd used to call a
"di-fanny-ous" baby doll nightie.

A most cheese-tastic event

January 9, 2007 3:30 PM

IT’S a slightly unfamiliar feeling, but I must be going through a happy phase, because a few days ago I actually threw a party in my home – and I hardly ever do that.
Yes, I guess I am pretty contented with my lot – despite all the cynicism not to mention the war, terrorism and environmental worries that hover over us all like ravenous spectres.
Yes, I'm in good spirits, right enough, but I am not in good physical health. Actually, I am dictating this column from my sickbed, where I languish with the sorest throat I've ever had plus other symptons of the 'flu.

So My Darlings … it’s 2007

January 1, 2007 4:06 PM

Hello my darlings, well how’s it hanging?
I can barely write, my head’s still banging.
But I had a good one, don’t you worry,
Lots of cider plus wine and a curry.

New Year's Eve is always a blast to me,
Has been so ever since ‘73
When in downtown Wigan I first got drunk
In the company of Alice the punk.

This page contains an archive of all entries posted to Steve Regan’s Last Resort in the January 2007. They are listed from oldest to newest.

December 2006 is the previous archive.February 2007 is the next archive.

Many more can be found on the home page or by looking through the archives.