IN the previous posting to this blog I joked that the reason God invented alcohol was so that the strain of raising children could be made tolerable (just).
But actually I have been giving much serious thought to the subject of parenthood recently.
I don’t have any children, you see, and that is the source of considerable personal regret.
As I approach my 50th birthday, it often feels like I have missed out on one of the great accomplishments and responsibilities that human life can offer.
Ruefully, I reflect on how different my life would be if I’d got married (and there were certainly opportunities to do so) and had children. But that hasn’t happened, and perhaps now it never will.
I think if you don’t have children you can grow into a rather selfish form of adulthood, with only yourself to think about and cater for.
It is an unsatisfactory life and somewhat against the impulse of our natures.
Just recently I visited my old drinking pal from Hell’s Waiting Room, Daddy Hardman, (he who I used to call 'Slutty' Hardman) at the flat he shares in Seacombe with his girlfriend Della.
A few weeks ago they had a baby daughter, Coleen, who is healthy and well, despite being born prematurely at home. Della had a difficult birth but now, by God, it all certainly seems worthwhile.
Just to see Daddy and Della with their beautiful little girl was heart-warming. They are very good parents.
As someone who doesn’t have any children, I must say I admire those who do. Often I have seen the love-light shining in a parent’s eyes – and that has to be one of the best things about being human.
So to all my pals in New Brighton who are parents, including: Mandy Mobiles, Tallulah Swells and Alberre; Commuting Mitch and Greta; Nick and Carmelita (who is expecting again); Annette Kalms and The History Man; Duncan Kindlyface and Lady Di; the Bacardi Queen; Billy Bustimes; Corky; Delilah Durham; Runcorn Rita and all the rest, I say well done. Like millions of other mums and dads, you are inspirational.
And to those friends who, like me, are single and/or childless, I will remind you of the strangely beautiful thing the Catechism of the Catholic Church says about single people.
It says there is a special place reserved for us in the heart of Christ.
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Piink Elephant wrote...
Although not a dad yourself I bet you're a good friend and tower of support when your friends who are parents need you. In my opinion it's an under-reported role. Whether you end up a parent or not is a fluke, but supporting one is a choice you make and something to be proud of in itself. Besides, parenthood tends to be full of poo.
*** Yes, I'd forgotten about all the poo and snot, Pinky. Nice to hear from you! XXX Steve.
Posted by: Piink Elephant | March 23, 2007 5:31 PM