THIS weekend, 400 years of socially agreeable English history come to an end – and all because of the efforts of a bunch of whining health fascists.
Yes, from this Sunday, smoking will be banned in all enclosed public / work places.
In a demonstration of spite and contempt for the public, our masters in Parliament have ruled that the smoking ban will apply to all pubs.
An earlier, more “moderate� idea of allowing smoking in those pubs that don’t sell food, was chucked out at the insistence of a handful of hatchet-faced New Labour harpies.
This is outrageous. Think about it. In England (once the very cradle of freedom) people will from 1 July be banned from doing what they have done every day for the past four centuries – namely enjoying smoking tobacco, usually with a comforting measure of ale or wine, in public taverns.
As has now been shown, most of the “evidence� produced about the perceived “dangers� of passive smoking is based on highly suspect science.
This is what happens with zealots – they get an idea in their heads and then they commission studies specially formulated to prove their point.
It is what has happened throughout Western nations over the past 20 years or so.
My only surprise is that politicians have rolled over and agreed to present smoking to the public as the Number One Social Evil and a Grave Risk To Health.
I do not plan to replicate any of the spurious arguments or misleading medical factoids trotted out with great tedium by the taxpayer-funded Smoking Cessation Industry.
They’ve had their say. What they’ve said, and more importantly what they’ve done in achieving a smoking ban, is hateful and cruel. I hope they can sleep at nights.
Now I am going to have my say. And the gloves are off.
The fight to restore people’s right to have a smoke in a social setting starts here.
I want to put right at the top of my agenda the two great health benefits of smoking, Yes, that’s right – THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF SMOKING.
Here are the self-evident reasons why smoking enormously benefits the health of those who partake...
(1) Smoking is the best reliever of stress we have. And stress is a killer. The anti-smoking Nazis, by their nasty campaign of pressuring and persecuting smokers, have added to the stress of millions of good people.
I have no doubt that many will die because of the utterly misguided efforts of public health zealots, including all those employed to wage war on smokers by the Mad Liberal Democratic Party of Liverpool City Council, and the similar lemon-sucking morons employed by the Death Star otherwise known as Wirral Council.
I have no doubt that many more people will now suffer fatal strokes and heart attacks while under stress because they have been coerced into giving up smoking.
(2) A massive problem for our country is obesity. Many people eat too much. If millions of people now stop smoking, as the Health Nazis hope will happen, then those people will start snacking as a replacement for ciggie breaks.
The result will be more obesity. More fatal heart attacks.
So well done you Health Nazis. May you spin in Hell for your sins.
I am also appalled that over the past 20 years young people have been indoctrinated by schools, in a way that is truly sinister and fascist, about the “horrors� of smoking.
Why is it that many parents live in fear of their kids seeing them smoke? If kids catch mum and dad smoking in the garage or in the bushes at the bottom of the garden they go mad, ranting like members of the Hitler Youth.
I tell you, I have had enough of all this anti-smoking crap. My contribution to the smoking ban has been to treat myself to a new black leather pouch for my wonderful Golden Virginia rolling tobacco.
I intend to smoke more from now on, though obviously not inside my local pub, Hell’s Waiting Room.The landlord has, in any case, constructed a lovely roof garden with some sort of legally allowed shelter at one end – especially for his smoking customers (a majority of the regulars).
Similarly, Fred and Shirley, mine hosts at The Ginny, New Brighton, have created a beautiful garden with decking and a pagoda-style partial roof covering for their smokers. It is excellent and I do hope it encourages people to take up smoking.
I have also treated myself to a box of the finest Havana cigars.
As you can see from the picture at the top of this column, I have arranged my fingers in a special way around the shaft of my cigar, in a special gesture to the Smoking Ban Nazis.
(That is not the correct way to hold a cigar, by the way. One should grasp the shaft under a crooked index finger.)
Anyway, I intend to smoke more cigars and roll-ups from now on. Because I like smoking! All right?
And because smoking really is ALL the things that the Smoking Ban Nazis tell us it isn’t.
Most of us know in our hearts the truth of the following statement…
Smoking IS glamorous, cool, thoroughly enjoyable and beneficial to one’s health.
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Matt Farrell wrote...
A wonderfully onesided article, perhaps with vision like yours, you should be working for the Capital of Culture company.
*** REGAN REPLIES. Err, thanks Matt, but I fear I'm simply not dull enough for the Culture Company. Not do I have the complulsory addiction to bad suits, gas-bagging meetings, and the launching of logos. Besides, anything funded by the taxpayer makes my soul shrivel.
Posted by: Matt Farrell | June 29, 2007 7:06 AM