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Steve Regan is a writer who lives in New Brighton. He’s a performance poet and a rebel. He drinks in a pub he calls Hell’s Waiting Room and a late bar known as The Lost Weekend. Steve has an unusual take on modern life – as you’ll discover …

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Here be monsters

November 6, 2007 2:35 PM | 

SURELY it’s important for our spiritual and mental health that we all know where we come from and where we belong.
For most (though not all) people that sense of belonging comes first and foremost from their families.
Then, perhaps, it comes from their home town or village; then maybe from their faith, if they have one; and also perhaps from their skin colour.
Now, I'm not saying that no one should ever move out of his or her immediate locality, social class, ethnic clique or religious comfort zone.
There has to be some degree of inter-mixing and inter-breeding, otherwise the gene pool becomes dominated by thick, murderous types who have three eyes in their foreheads.

Lamentably, to a certain extent, that has already happened in physically isolated areas of our own country such as Norfolk (where the derogatory phrase ‘NFN’ is widely used about dim people, meaning ‘Normal For Norfolk’).
What I will say is that where we can, each of us should strive to stay in our own nation – i.e. where we were born and brought up as youngsters.
Of course, the brigands of the international infotainment industry, who want to turn us all into plastic Americans, are busy all the time undermining this concept of the nation.
Other forms of globalisation also militate against the preservation of national cultures – but the nation remains fundamentally important to human identity and to our sense of belonging.
I am emphatically NOT saying that immigration and emigration are bad things. Almost every nation has received immigrants and benefited from them, economically, culturally and spiritually, and perhaps none more so than our own.
And yet, I have often asked myself: would I personally like to live in any other country but this one?
The answer comes thundering back that I wouldn’t; that I simply couldn’t bear to turn my back on my own country, to abandon it, as do so many Brits do each year by emigrating.
To abandon Britain because you are sick of its frustrations (including the awful weather, the punitive tax system, the abysmal state schooling, the crap-beyond-belief trains and roads etc) is such a defeatist and selfish thing to do.
Such emigration is a quite different thing to the desperate flight of incoming refugees, who want to come here after suffering persecution in their own countries.
In my view, such refugees are more deserving of residency in the UK than, for example, the thousands of moaning minnies and small time villains who each year pack up and move to Spain to live.
Having said all that, I love Spain , and have enjoyed two holidays there earlier this year with my girlfriend, Posh Boots.
On the most recent one, we became fixated by a bar we nicknamed ‘The Monster Bar’ – because it was full of monstrous expatriates from various northern countries of Europe , including our own.
They were very odd people, those 'monsters' from Britain , the Netherlands , Germany and France .
They apparently do nothing all day but drink in karaoke bars and indulge in swingers’ sex.
Their facial features are strange and coarse; bestial even. I like to imagine that they have grown ugly physically as well as spiritually because they have abandoned their own countries for the easy life in the sun.
Except that their life isn’t easy – not when they are away from the cultures that nurtured them and from their remaining family obligations.
The life of the ex-pat is very often an empty, pointless one that corrupts the soul.
Human beings are not meant to live like that. No wonder they’ve grown to look like monsters.

Comments (5)

Lord Vino du Matin wrote...

Don't you be having a go at Norfolk, boy. We know where you live......

Posted by: Lord Vino du Matin  | November 7, 2007 3:33 PM

Smokehouse wrote...

Hi Steve good points you make, however... how many of the ex pats come back because of their empty and pointless lives? My own guess is not many and many have left precisely because of the points you raise. I consider myself to be fiercely patriotic but although my heart is still in this country my soul left a long time ago.
I want to live somewhere where you are not taxed to high heaven, where you are not penalised for trying to be thoughtful and save for old age without being caught in means test trap which often means you are worse off. I want to live somewhere where you can still smoke without being cast as a pariah and above all somewhere where respect still exists and people wont be pilloried or arrested for telling the kids not to throw stones at windows or to stop slashing car tyres. I could go on for ages but I am sure you catch my drift.
I too will be joining the vast legion of ex pats as soon as is expedient. (The Marchioness of Ghastanbury passed away a couple of months ago at the grand old age of 91 and so I no longer have any responsibilities here)
I certainly do not feel selfish for harbouring such dreams of a more carefree life. I actually applaud all the people who have managed to escape the nightmare of New Labour's nanny state with its breathtaking abandon of common sense, border controls and its fierce application of the human rights act with no thought of human responsibilities. Notice how many other countries apply the human rights act so rigidly?
Each to his own I guess and for as long as you are writing a blog then "good ole blighty" will never be more than a mouse click away. More power to you and Posh, you are braver than me for wanting to stay!
*** REGAN REPLIED: Cheers, Smokey. Hope you stay as long as possible ... if only to keel the rebel flag flying!

Posted by: Smokehouse  | November 7, 2007 11:58 PM

Annette Kalms wrote...

Steve, read your blog. My brother-in-law lives in Eygpt, just having left Oman, he has never been back here for nearly 7 years, and seems in no great hurry to visit. My son Brains will not stay in Britain, and I for one don't blame him. If ever an opportunity arises I will join him. There is absolutely nothing here for anyone who works for a living.
REGAN REPLIED: "Eeeeh, I dunno. I think we in Britain are on the verge of a splendid new era of mediocrity."

Posted by: Annette Kalms  | November 12, 2007 4:10 PM

Darren wrote...

I've just changed my life and bought a shop in Norfolk (a smaill village outside Norwich, actually). I wouldn't say people are thick compared to London, they just work on a different frequency.

But back to emigration... I've been visited by a number of sales reps at my shop and these guys seem to think it perfectly OK to berate our country for "all those immigrants" coming in from Eastern Europe and plan to emigrate themselves to Spain. Of course, what this means is that they will up-sticks, head off for the nearest Brit, ex-pat enclave and do exactly what they accuse all the immigrants who come to the UK of doing: they won't learn the language, they won't integrate into the native culture or population, they'll keep themselves to themselves and in some cases, send money back to Blighty.

Anyone see the pathetic irony in this?

REGAN REPLIED: Dazza. I'm 50. I see pathetic irony in EVERYTHING! Good to hear from you. Is your shop a, errmmm... LOCAL SHOP by any chance?

Posted by: Darren  | November 13, 2007 11:27 AM

Pink elephant wrote...

I know what you mean aboout monster ex-pats. My boyfriend and I were once given a recommendation for a bar in Greece and, when we arrived, realised it was because he had the required England tattoo to get in. They all seemed lovely but it felt decidedly dodgy. My young man's bulldog was covered by another less "patriotic" tattoo shortly afterwards.

Posted by: Pink elephant  | November 20, 2007 4:22 PM

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