RECENTLY I went to Sunday Mass at a church other than my usual one – a so-called family service, starting at 10.30am, rather than my customary 6.30pm one.
Children are encouraged to attend these mid-morning Masses.
I didn’t think I’d mind that – but actually I ended up minding very much...
I arrived on time for the service at St Alban's, Liscard, Wallasey, and, encouragingly enough, the pews were almost full.
I spotted a space somewhere in the middle of the church and shuffled into the pew. The trouble was there were three children, aged from two to five, I’d guess, in the pew with me, accompanied by what I took to be their grandmother.
The children’s mother (or maybe guardian /carer) arrived soon after me with three more of her brood – also toddlers.
The noise and disruption that came from these six kids was incredible. It drove me to distraction.
Two of the mites kept brushing past me, in front and right behind me; another kept pushing her teddy bear into my unappreciative face.
One of the kids had a battery-operated toy which kept making a hideous squawking noise.
One little boy had a toy truck which he kept revving up on an adjoining column – again making a racket.
The two women did make some efforts to hush the kids, but these were British youngsters, so their efforts were ineffectual.
And anyway, why bring small kids to church carrying noisy toys?
I will put up with quite a lot from tots – though I do think most British youngsters behave like awful brats because they are so spoiled.
Almost all parents now spoil their kids by indulging their every whim and pandering to their tantrums.
French and Spanish kids are much better behaved – because they still learn discipline from an early age.
All the same, on Sunday I was determined to put up with the children’s racket and kerfuffle while trying to concentrate on the Mass.
I was mindful of Christ’s own injunction to: “Suffer the little children to come unto me.”
Eventually though, these kids just wore me down. It was after the young lad near me started wailing uncontrollably just as the Mass approached its most solemn section that my patience snapped.
So I got up, walked out of my pew and went down to the back of the church where I heard the rest of service in relative peace and was able to pay due attention.
I’m sure people will have noticed my abrupt departure from the pew, since it is unusual for worshippers to leave their seats well before Mass has ended.
Somewhat embarrassingly, I later passed the younger woman in charge of the noisy kids as I walked back from receiving holy communion. She shot me a meaningful but not unfriendly glance and smiled.
I don’t know if she meant to reproach me with her smile, but, in any case, I feel it is her who really needs to be reproached.
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Big Scott wrote...
Sorry, Steve, but I could hardly keep a straight face reading that. You, of all people, whingeing about anyone (even kids) throwing tantrums in public!!!! The words "kettle", "black" and "pot" spring to mind...
REGAN REPLIED: I'll consider myself suitably chastised then - you po-faced, lemon-sucking Kirk person. How was the Roddy Frame concert, by the way?
Posted by: Big Scott | April 1, 2008 10:19 AM