Calm down, pubbers! / My 'Thoughts' on radio
SO itÃ¢ÂÂs coming up for 11pm on a Saturday night as I start to write this posting.
I know, I really shouldnÃ¢ÂÂt be at home on my computer just nowÃ¢ÂÅ like some sad web 'ead.
I should be out larginÃ¢ÂÂ it in the bars of New Brighton ... or Liverpool.
Except IÃ¢ÂÂm not the type of bloke to be found larginÃ¢ÂÂ it in trendoid wine bars or even Ã¢ÂÂdahn the pubÃ¢Â?.
And especially not at the weekends when all the amateur drinkers are outÃ¢ÂÅ
(Read on for important information coming up near the end of this posting.)
And anyway, late doors drinking on Saturdays just ainÃ¢ÂÂt as enjoyable as it used to be.
Too many people being screechy and /or bitchy (mainly the men).
Too many people being aggressive and/or sexually invasive (mainly the women Ã¢ÂÂ I and I mean that).
Too much in the way of lairy behaviour all round. Honestly, people are losing the knack of becoming merry in a witty and entertaining way.
They seem to think being loud, lashed and in-yer-face as quick as possible is all thatÃ¢ÂÂs bar life is about. Where have all the saloon bar philosophers gone?
I dunno. It was different in my day.
Still, I probably will go to HellÃ¢ÂÂs Waiting Room when IÃ¢ÂÂve finished this. I need a couple of large reds and maybe a pint of Guinness.
Dunno who will be around to keep me company. Posh Boots isnÃ¢ÂÂt with me tonight (but donÃ¢ÂÂt worry about that, folks, we are still very much together).
Some of my friends, including Dr Gyggle, are off attending parties to which, quite understandably, I havenÃ¢ÂÂt been invited.
Some others from my social grouping are in Krakow for the weekend, celebrating the birthday of a nice lad called Callum who works for the Wirral Death Star (the council Ã¢ÂÂ do keep up!)
I couldnÃ¢ÂÂt afford to go across to Poland with the lads this summer, otherwise IÃ¢ÂÂd have been there, along with The Beast, Commuting Mitch, the Patriarch Narkus, Fronk and (I think) Spuggy.
IÃ¢ÂÂm quite sure theyÃ¢ÂÂll be having a very cultural time, visiting folk museums and sausage factories, that sort of thing.
Well, thatÃ¢ÂÂs what they'll tell their WAGS any way.
And certain others among my mates have been drinking Nark Water from the Reservoir of Bad Tempered B*****ds recently Ã¢ÂÂ so if they are out tonight I expect IÃ¢ÂÂll get another ear-bashing.
Waiting Room... Hope thereÃ¢ÂÂll be someone to talk to. There usually is.
No-one has rung to say come out for a beer so I might just tuck myself away in a corner and look miserable and emotionally unbalanced.
That way at least IÃ¢ÂÂll be inconspicuous.
So Ã¢ÂÅ ah, wait there, a text message just come through Ã¢ÂÅ (pause).
OK, itÃ¢ÂÂs a lovely, sweet and eloquent message from Posh Boots, bless herÃ¢ÂÅ
Now where was I? Oh yeah, lemme see, IÃ¢ÂÂve almost decided to go the Waiting Room so IÃ¢ÂÂd better hurry up and finish this.
WhatÃ¢ÂÂs decided me to go out after all, even though IÃ¢ÂÂm not feeling 100 per cent physically, is that IÃ¢ÂÂve been watching telly for most of the evening and it is total crap.
There was something on C4 called Pushing Daisies, starring BrookieÃ¢ÂÂs Anna Friel but with an American accent.
It tries very hard to be an arch and funny black comedy Ã¢ÂÂ and fails utterly.
I canÃ¢ÂÂt work out whether itÃ¢ÂÂs a British production trying to be American or an American production trying to be British.
There doesn't seem to be any funny sitcoms on telly any more, apart from Scrubs.
Earlier on, I watched BritainÃ¢ÂÂs Got Talent (which on tonightÃ¢ÂÂs evidence, it hasnÃ¢ÂÂt) on ITV 1, and bits of some ghastly stage musical contest on BBC1 featuring featuring Graham Norton and Andrew Lloyd Webber, both of whom I could cheerfully slap, slap again, and carry on slapping for their offences against entertainment.
OKÃ¢ÂÅ THE IMPORTANT BITS. IÃ¢ÂÂm doing the Thoughts For The Day slots this week from 12 May to 16 May on BBC Radio Merseyside. YouÃ¢ÂÂll have to be an early bird to catch them as they are broadcast Monday to Friday at 6.55am (ish).
But anyway, I just wanted to to let regular readers of this blog know about the radio pieces.
And on Tuesday (13 May), IÃ¢ÂÂm hoping to speak to a motion which states that Ã¢ÂÂthe modern NHS is bad for your healthÃ¢Â? (something like that, anyway) in the debating club at the Scouse House cafÃÂ©, 3 Oliver Lane, Birkenhead.
I think it starts at 7.30pm and they have printed out copies of my blog in praise of cigarettes to promote the debate.
OK folks, thatÃ¢ÂÂs all for now.
Keep the faith!
Love and peace.