Calm down, pubbers! / My 'Thoughts' on radio
SO itâÂÂs coming up for 11pm on a Saturday night as I start to write this posting.
I know, I really shouldnâÂÂt be at home on my computer just nowâÂÅ like some sad web 'ead.
I should be out larginâ it in the bars of New Brighton ... or Liverpool.
Except IâÂÂm not the type of bloke to be found larginâ it in trendoid wine bars or even âÂÂdahn the pubâÂ?.
And especially not at the weekends when all the amateur drinkers are outâÂÅ
(Read on for important information coming up near the end of this posting.)
And anyway, late doors drinking on Saturdays just ainâÂÂt as enjoyable as it used to be.
Too many people being screechy and /or bitchy (mainly the men).
Too many people being aggressive and/or sexually invasive (mainly the women â I and I mean that).
Too much in the way of lairy behaviour all round. Honestly, people are losing the knack of becoming merry in a witty and entertaining way.
They seem to think being loud, lashed and in-yer-face as quick as possible is all thatâÂÂs bar life is about. Where have all the saloon bar philosophers gone?
I dunno. It was different in my day.
Still, I probably will go to HellâÂÂs Waiting Room when IâÂÂve finished this. I need a couple of large reds and maybe a pint of Guinness.
Dunno who will be around to keep me company. Posh Boots isnâÂÂt with me tonight (but donâÂÂt worry about that, folks, we are still very much together).
Some of my friends, including Dr Gyggle, are off attending parties to which, quite understandably, I havenâÂÂt been invited.
Some others from my social grouping are in Krakow for the weekend, celebrating the birthday of a nice lad called Callum who works for the Wirral Death Star (the council â do keep up!)
I couldnâÂÂt afford to go across to Poland with the lads this summer, otherwise IâÂÂd have been there, along with The Beast, Commuting Mitch, the Patriarch Narkus, Fronk and (I think) Spuggy.
IâÂÂm quite sure theyâÂÂll be having a very cultural time, visiting folk museums and sausage factories, that sort of thing.
Well, thatâÂÂs what they'll tell their WAGS any way.
And certain others among my mates have been drinking Nark Water from the Reservoir of Bad Tempered B*****ds recently â so if they are out tonight I expect IâÂÂll get another ear-bashing.
Waiting Room... Hope thereâÂÂll be someone to talk to. There usually is.
No-one has rung to say come out for a beer so I might just tuck myself away in a corner and look miserable and emotionally unbalanced.
That way at least IâÂÂll be inconspicuous.
So âÂÅ ah, wait there, a text message just come through âÂÅ (pause).
OK, itâÂÂs a lovely, sweet and eloquent message from Posh Boots, bless herâÂÅ
Now where was I? Oh yeah, lemme see, IâÂÂve almost decided to go the Waiting Room so IâÂÂd better hurry up and finish this.
WhatâÂÂs decided me to go out after all, even though IâÂÂm not feeling 100 per cent physically, is that IâÂÂve been watching telly for most of the evening and it is total crap.
There was something on C4 called Pushing Daisies, starring BrookieâÂÂs Anna Friel but with an American accent.
It tries very hard to be an arch and funny black comedy â and fails utterly.
I canâÂÂt work out whether itâÂÂs a British production trying to be American or an American production trying to be British.
There doesn't seem to be any funny sitcoms on telly any more, apart from Scrubs.
Earlier on, I watched BritainâÂÂs Got Talent (which on tonightâÂÂs evidence, it hasnâÂÂt) on ITV 1, and bits of some ghastly stage musical contest on BBC1 featuring featuring Graham Norton and Andrew Lloyd Webber, both of whom I could cheerfully slap, slap again, and carry on slapping for their offences against entertainment.
OKâÂÅ THE IMPORTANT BITS. IâÂÂm doing the Thoughts For The Day slots this week from 12 May to 16 May on BBC Radio Merseyside. YouâÂÂll have to be an early bird to catch them as they are broadcast Monday to Friday at 6.55am (ish).
But anyway, I just wanted to to let regular readers of this blog know about the radio pieces.
And on Tuesday (13 May), IâÂÂm hoping to speak to a motion which states that âÂÂthe modern NHS is bad for your healthâÂ? (something like that, anyway) in the debating club at the Scouse House café, 3 Oliver Lane, Birkenhead.
I think it starts at 7.30pm and they have printed out copies of my blog in praise of cigarettes to promote the debate.
OK folks, thatâÂÂs all for now.
Keep the faith!
Love and peace.
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Steve Regan - Steve Regan is a writer who also runs the Bards of New Brighton poetry and music club, which meets at the Magazine pub, New Brighton, on the second Monday of every month. starting at 8pm. Free admission
Well, did you meet any of your pals when you went down the hell-hole?
REGAN REPLIEd: Not only met some chums, but had a couole of drinks bought for me - result! Don't expect that happens to ye much, Sam, living where you do among all those affluent golf club bores.
Hi Steve gosh, finally got sometime for us come around and read your things! You are a legend! Hope you had a great time with us in spain and we are looking forward to see you again! Sorry we did not get to say goodbye! Hugs from both of us.
Antonio and Liz from the Colorado Rock Cafe!
REGAN REPLIED: Hello you two. My girl and I had a brilliant evening in your bar in Isla Canela - and thanks for giving us a lift 'home'. We did intend to come into your place on the last day of our holiday but in the end we were (a) too knackered and (b) skint. For readers' benefit, Antonia and Liz run their Colorado Rock Cafe by the Marina in Isla Canela on the beautiful Costa de la Luz in Spain. That's close to Portugal, where Antonio comes from. He is a greaty singer by the way and sings for everyone in the bar. Liz, a young English lady, is a dancer.
Hi Steve,
>Where have all the saloon bar philosophers gone?
Writing their blogs at home with cheap supermarket booze I reckon :)
Finding anything worthwhile to watch on a Saturday night is practically impossible. I've just finished watching my Dennis Potter DVD box set, and whilst his material was far from perfect (too over-reliant on over-used devices) it was refreshing to once again experience middle-ground intelligent tv that makes you think as well as entertaining.
A complete contrast to today's tripe with over excited presenters and loads of fanfare about something really great that's coming up, that isn't actually very good, but don't worry there's something even better along in a minute. Yawn!
It's interesting to note that many of the most popular 70s and 80s shows (Fawlty Towers, Fools and Horses, Minder, Black Adder etc) all bombed on their first showings, it was only through the monopoly of the BBC/ITV, economies of scale and "aunty knows best" (and with the benefit of hindsight - they did!) mentality that allowed them to keep repeating them until the viewing public caught up (I think Minder didn't catch on until series 3 or 4, at about ã120K per episode in the early 80s that was quite a commitment).
Today it's all about hooking viewers in the opening minutes, and often spending more money on hyping a show than on the show itself. With no time for character development or experimentation, ultimately these shows can only be shallow, forgettable and worthless.
As for TV news - are we really becoming such a dumed down society that we need dummed down presenters spoon-feeding us in words of one syllable, an over-simplified view of the world, heavy on celebrity, light on anything of real importance, devoid of intimidating desks, and lots of bright colours and Max Headroom style lines in the background to keep us focussed on the screen? On second thoughts, don't answer that - I fear the answer will depress me!
At least the tv licence lets the BBC slip the odd decent show through the "ratings, ratings, ratings" net, wonderful shows such as Early Doors as you've pointed out in the past. But these nuggets appear to be increasingly in the minority.
Anyway, good to hear at least radio is going to benefit from your wise words! Good luck with it.
REGAN REPLIED: Yes, thanks for that Newbie. You sound like a cranked up Sam Brady when you write about telly. Still, someone's gotta sock it to the clueless plonkers! CU soon.
Steve - "Where have all the saloon bar philosophers gone?" Hopefully some of them will try the new Green Dolphin Brasserie & Bar down near the prom end of Victoria Parade next to Redcaps. I'll be up front and tell you that this is my place which has just opened. All that you say at the beginning of your rant is what I'm trying to create - a refuge from "lairy behaviour all round" and a place where "people are able to promote the knack of becoming merry in a witty and entertaining way". Even if you don't post this due to potential advertising considerations, I'd love you to pop in for chat over a coffee, beer, meal or whatever takes your fancy.
REGAN REPLIED: Good luck with the new bar / brasserie, Kev. Funnily enough, myself and Posh Boots trundled down to the Green Dolphin last night, Monday 12 May, but by the time we got there you'd shot up for the night (it was very late, mind). As it goes, I used to go to your bar in a previous incarnation, when it was caled Moodi Blue and had a different owner. I shall be swinging by soon, and as I say, good luck.
And VIVA NEW BRIGHTON!
Cheers! Hic!
Mine's a large red wine!!
Look forward to seeing you. Monday is the only day we don't open. Currently Tuesday-Thursday we close for food at 9.30pm and Friday 10.00 but will be opening later once we're fully staffed up.
Cheers, bohemia rules and the red wine will be waiting - book early on 0151-638 1166
REGAN REPLIES: We are hoping to swing by later tonight ... if we get back from a wine-tasting in Chester in time. Pip pip!
The Graham Norton thing is called I'd Do Anything - and can you think of anything more frightening than a mincing Graham Norton mouthing "and we want one of you to be our Nancy"?
I can't.
Interesting blog, thanks - love Taullah's, but despite all the efforts I don't think it's developed into the hothouse of debate it deserves. What about buying one of our deserted pubs - or churches - and founding a Dr Johnson type 18th century coffee house...and over each table you put a sign - "football" "politics (global)" "European Films" "modern art (pro) "and wait for that cut and thrust to begin?
REGAN REPLIED: Well, there's no shiortage of big empty buildings in Wallasey, thanks to the malign presence of the 'Death Star' (Wirral Council). And there is no shortage either of local people who love to opine over copious amounts of alcohol. So I think your idea is a goer. Now, have you got loads of money with which to make it happen?!