SO it’s coming up for 11pm on a Saturday night as I start to write this posting.
I know, I really shouldn’t be at home on my computer just now… like some sad web 'ead.
I should be out largin’ it in the bars of New Brighton ... or Liverpool.
Except I’m not the type of bloke to be found largin’ it in trendoid wine bars or even “dahn the pub�.
And especially not at the weekends when all the amateur drinkers are out…
(Read on for important information coming up near the end of this posting.)
And anyway, late doors drinking on Saturdays just ain’t as enjoyable as it used to be.
Too many people being screechy and /or bitchy (mainly the men).
Too many people being aggressive and/or sexually invasive (mainly the women – I and I mean that).
Too much in the way of lairy behaviour all round. Honestly, people are losing the knack of becoming merry in a witty and entertaining way.
They seem to think being loud, lashed and in-yer-face as quick as possible is all that’s bar life is about. Where have all the saloon bar philosophers gone?
I dunno. It was different in my day.
Still, I probably will go to Hell’s Waiting Room when I’ve finished this. I need a couple of large reds and maybe a pint of Guinness.
Dunno who will be around to keep me company. Posh Boots isn’t with me tonight (but don’t worry about that, folks, we are still very much together).
Some of my friends, including Dr Gyggle, are off attending parties to which, quite understandably, I haven’t been invited.
Some others from my social grouping are in Krakow for the weekend, celebrating the birthday of a nice lad called Callum who works for the Wirral Death Star (the council – do keep up!)
I couldn’t afford to go across to Poland with the lads this summer, otherwise I’d have been there, along with The Beast, Commuting Mitch, the Patriarch Narkus, Fronk and (I think) Spuggy.
I’m quite sure they’ll be having a very cultural time, visiting folk museums and sausage factories, that sort of thing.
Well, that’s what they'll tell their WAGS any way.
And certain others among my mates have been drinking Nark Water from the Reservoir of Bad Tempered B*****ds recently – so if they are out tonight I expect I’ll get another ear-bashing.
Waiting Room... Hope there’ll be someone to talk to. There usually is.
No-one has rung to say come out for a beer so I might just tuck myself away in a corner and look miserable and emotionally unbalanced.
That way at least I’ll be inconspicuous.
So … ah, wait there, a text message just come through … (pause).
OK, it’s a lovely, sweet and eloquent message from Posh Boots, bless her…
Now where was I? Oh yeah, lemme see, I’ve almost decided to go the Waiting Room so I’d better hurry up and finish this.
What’s decided me to go out after all, even though I’m not feeling 100 per cent physically, is that I’ve been watching telly for most of the evening and it is total crap.
There was something on C4 called Pushing Daisies, starring Brookie’s Anna Friel but with an American accent.
It tries very hard to be an arch and funny black comedy – and fails utterly.
I can’t work out whether it’s a British production trying to be American or an American production trying to be British.
There doesn't seem to be any funny sitcoms on telly any more, apart from Scrubs.
Earlier on, I watched Britain’s Got Talent (which on tonight’s evidence, it hasn’t) on ITV 1, and bits of some ghastly stage musical contest on BBC1 featuring featuring Graham Norton and Andrew Lloyd Webber, both of whom I could cheerfully slap, slap again, and carry on slapping for their offences against entertainment.
OK… THE IMPORTANT BITS. I’m doing the Thoughts For The Day slots this week from 12 May to 16 May on BBC Radio Merseyside. You’ll have to be an early bird to catch them as they are broadcast Monday to Friday at 6.55am (ish).
But anyway, I just wanted to to let regular readers of this blog know about the radio pieces.
And on Tuesday (13 May), I’m hoping to speak to a motion which states that “the modern NHS is bad for your health� (something like that, anyway) in the debating club at the Scouse House café, 3 Oliver Lane, Birkenhead.
I think it starts at 7.30pm and they have printed out copies of my blog in praise of cigarettes to promote the debate.
OK folks, that’s all for now.
Keep the faith!
Love and peace.
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Sam Alabaster wrote...
Well, did you meet any of your pals when you went down the hell-hole?
REGAN REPLIEd: Not only met some chums, but had a couole of drinks bought for me - result! Don't expect that happens to ye much, Sam, living where you do among all those affluent golf club bores.
Posted by: Sam Alabaster | May 11, 2008 8:58 PM