SOME people have been trying to send comments to this posting and not managing to get them through. Apologies, but it isn't my fault. The publishing platform malfuctioned for a couple of days, that's all. Everything is back to normal now - love, Steve.
SO I went into La Narrowboat, a splendid bar in Liscard (Wallasey town centre), the other night for a couple of late bevvies.
Me and Posh Boots perched on high stools amid all the fairy lights and candles as we relaxed over a couple of large reds.
The Communards, Curiosity Killed the Cat and other eighties tracks played merrily away on the sound system as we chatted.
Eventually I needed to make a phone call, so to get some quiet I went with my mobile into the bar's back passage, near the bogs...
Even this passageway is beautifully lit and very clean and comfortable - well, that's La Narrowboat for you.
While in the corridor I exchanged a few pleasantries with a blonde woman as she brushed past on her way to the ladies' toilets.
A couple of minutes later a shortish, burly fellow entered the corridor, heading for the gents, I assumed.
So I muttered a friendly greeting to him - as men are wont to do if they find themselves enclosed in narrow passageways together.
I think I said "Hiya, lad" ... well, I am a Wiganer and that's the sorta thing we say if we don't know a bloke's name.
He smiled at me (or was it more of a grimace?) and went into the toilets.
Only thing was ... he went into the lay-dees' bogs, and he didn't come bustling straight out again as a guys tend to do if they stumble into the women's WC by mistake (as can happen).
Well, I carried on with my phone call but three minutes later this fellow still hadn't come out of the girls' room.
And neither had the vaguely attractive young blonde women who had entered moments before him...
Oh, heck, I thought, they've arranged to go in there to have hanky-panky of some sort.
Somewhat embarrassed, I returned to my seat with the very respectable Posh Boots.
A few minutes later both the woman and guy came out of the toilets together and resumed their places at the bar.
I then noticed that they were very friendly and touchy-touchy with each other. And it didn't end there...
On closer inspection I discovered that the person I'd took to be a man in the corridor was, in fact, a lady.
A rather butch-looking lady, but a female nonetheless.
So probably, they'd been in the toilets together for perfectly appropriate purposes.
Then again...?
Oh, who am I to judge anyway?!
"Whatever gets you through the night!" Wasn't that the civic motto of the old Wallasey Council... before the Death Star that is Wirral Council moved in to spoil everyone's fun on the peninsula?
Anyway, we had some interesting chats with the people in La Narrowboat that night, but I'm afraid I'm far too discreet to discuss in this posting the subject matter of our conversations...
ANYONE who has sussed the fact that we live in an age of too much information and technological overload might be amused by these imagined remarks I've made up from the mouth of a fictional company representative in response to a query from a customer ...
"Oh, not sir, I've afraid you'll have to to go our website for that.
Visit www.mustdestroy.com
On the home page you'll find a link to further confusion.
And you can download a useless resource pack."
A REMINDER, I've reinvented my former SAM BRADY column from the days of ORACLE Teletext.
Check Sam out...
http://sambradyoracle.blogspot.com/
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Sam Alabaster wrote...
Steve, the thought of you trawling dodgy cocktail bars in hopeless provincial towns such as Wallasey fills me with pleasure somehow. X Sam.
REGAN REPLIES: Anything that gives you pleasure is, err, a mistake on my part, Sam.
Posted by: Sam Alabaster | October 31, 2008 2:20 PM